Hello my mammals. Mer to you all.
Today I want to tell you about catspergers. I'm not the first to be diagnosed with this condition (a preliminary google search brings to light the pawpular book for children with aspergers 'My Kitty Catsberger' and there even exists http://www.catspergers.com !) but I wanted to tell you a bit about it, so purrhaps you can learn more about me! Basically I don't pick up on social cues from other cats. So this one time I went to Ash street to meet some new catz Malu and Amiga... well I didn't know what to do so I just sat there... When Malu came up to play, I leaned back as far away from him as I possibly could. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection in the window, and I know I looked pretty strange with my eyes all big and my ears waaaaaay back, but seriously... HOW WIERD that another cat would want to play with me!!!
I'm telling you, these catz be crazy.
And then I saw her... Amiga.
She's a wild girl and I wanted to check her out cause she has cool stripes and tufts on her ears and smelled like the outside (I'm a voluntary indoor cat most of the time, though I do like these particular ferns outside by my house). I needed to get closer to her, so wearing my best red bowtie, I sauntered down the narrow hallway to her,
hoping to see those stripes in action and smell the outside on her fur.
Amiga was making this strange low growling noise, so I figured she was just humming a nice song to herself, so I kept walking up to her. She started hissing a bit, and I was like she's so COOL, this cat is awesum, so I kept walking up to her. Finally when I got real close to her she snarled at me, and I thought HOW NICE she's greeting me, how friendly! And then... she ran away!!?! I just couldn't believe it, and so I plopped down on the floor right there (in mermaid pose, obviously), trying to figure out what had just happened.
Was it my bow tie that scared her off?
Did the whiteness of my paws confuse her?
Did my delicate beige coloring blend in too well with the lemon whip-colored walls of the hallway?
I suffer from catspergers, so I may never know what went wrong that night.
Some quick tips for catspergers catz:
-hide beneath furniture whenever possible
-lean back to avoid confrontations
-watch catz playing from a safe distance, do not get too close, I REPEAT: do not get too close!!!!
-if you get confused or overwhelmed, the best thing to do is to sit down immediately, kick up your hind legs with foot-paws in the air (like a mermaid's tail), put your real tail up in the air like a flag, and prop your body up with your hand-paws. Aim to be resting completely on your belly like so:
If you have any questions you want to ask me about what it is like having catsbergers, feel free to ask! If you have any other tips you want to share with other catz, let me know in the comments.
Thanks mammals, itz now time to go play with grocery bags, YAY i'm getting wild tonight!
